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	<title>The Warlizard Chronicles</title>
	<link>http://warlizard.com</link>
	<description>A collection of stories from an odd life...</description>
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		<title>I Get Even</title>
		<description><![CDATA[TL;DR – I get back from the Desert, meet a special girl, buddy destroys my chance.  I get even.
]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/255</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Cheating &amp; Winning a Kissing Contest</title>
		<description><![CDATA[TL;DR: I win a kissing contest and alienate my friends, and the towns of Saugerties &#038; Woodstock.  ]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/30</link>
			</item>
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		<title>What makes someone ‘out of your league’?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The sad truth is that you&#8217;re right. There are many girls out there WAY out of your league. They&#8217;re too pretty, too smart, too rich, too funny, and why the hell would that want you anyway? I mean, you really don&#8217;t have much to offer, so no point in even bothering. I mean, realistically just [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/18</link>
			</item>
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		<title>What do you call it when several people come up with the same idea independently of each other?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you have a good lawyer it&#8217;s called intellectual property theft. Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/22</link>
			</item>
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		<title>I just found my dream car on Craigslist for a mere four thousand dollars, but I don’t even have 1/4 of the necessary funds.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Offer him all you have. Set up payment plan. Tell him you will be his butler on weekends. Be creative you sorry motherfucker!!!! Go get your baby! She needs you! Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/20</link>
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		<title>If you could date any Disney Princess, who would it be?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Let&#8217;s break it down&#8230; Snow White is dumb as a brick and believes everything she&#8217;s told. That&#8217;s cool, but not long term. Cinderella is always playing the victim and has daddy issues. Sleeping Beauty? Please. If I wanted to fuck a corpse, I&#8217;d fuck a corpse. Ariel? Tough one here. She&#8217;s fun, cool, does whatever [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/258</link>
			</item>
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		<title>I want to participate in and (hopefully) win a hot dog eating contest. What should I do for my training?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The competitive advantage that all hotdog eating champions enjoy is not size or stomach, it&#8217;s esophagus size. The best way to enlarge yours is gay porn. Now before you reject this out of hand, consider the benefits: You&#8217;ll be in great shape. Everyone knows gay people work out a lot, and to do gay porn [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://warlizard.com/archives/26</link>
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